Seriously, stop it. Nobody likes it. Nobody wants to hear it. I’m not kidding.
Here’s the thing, we all have issues, worries and challenges in our lives. The last thing we need is someone sucking the energy out of us with their self pity and complaints. More importantly, feeling sorry for yourself is the biggest obstacle to your own success.
Think about it, if your entire mind, which can only process one thought at a time, is concentrating on feeling sorry for yourself, how can you be creative and constructive? You can’t. Your thoughts control your reality. Self pity can become all encompassing. You don’t have time for it. It’s not worth a moment of your time.
What do you do then if you find yourself partaking in the vice of self pity? Try these:
- Recognize it and count your blessings instead. We all have blessings, concentrate of them instead.
- Take responsibility: Say, “I am responsible!” Even if you think you are not to ‘blame’ take responsibility and you will feel empowered.
- Stop ‘sharing’ your misery with those around you. STFU! (look that one up). If you don’t you’ll just be like the person in the song below:
Excerpt of Lyrics from the Eagles’ “Get Over It”
“…You’re makin’ the most of your losin’ streak
Some call it sick but I call it weak, yeah yeah yeah
Yeah you drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt, you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down
You bitch about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick its little ass!
Get over it!
All this bitchin’ and moanin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it!” – Eagles
And finally, what to do if someone you know is constantly complaining or wallowing in self pity? I think Brian Tracy once said something to the effect of, “Listen to them, tell them you understand how they feel, then ask them, “So, what are you going to do about it?”
I would add, if they don’t develop a plan and take action to improve their life, or seek counseling, then maybe it is time to protect you from that poison of their self pity.
Richard Uzelac Blog Self Pity